Larry G Poss

Only Thing Worse Than A BAD JOKE

.... Larry

In Arkansas, if you divorce your wife,
is she still your SISTER?


Question: How'd the blonde get lipstick on the steering wheel?
Answer: She was trying to blow the horn!

A man was in his yard working on his landscaping when his neighbor, a blonde female, came out of her house went to her mailbox, opened it, slammed it shut and went back in the house. About 15 minutes later, he saw her come out of the house again, go to the mailbox, open the door, then slam it shut and go back inside. Another 15-20 minutes pass when he sees her come out of the house again, goes to the mailbox, opens it, slams it shut and starts to walk away when he calls to her and says, " Excuse me but you've been to the mailbox 3 times in the last 1/2 hr. Is there a problem? Her reply was, "Yes! My computer keeps telling me that I've got mail!"

There was a blonde at a pop machine. She started putting pennies in. Soon a little boy comes up to her and says, "What are you doing?"
The blonde says back, "Shhh I'm winning!"

How do you teach a blonde math?

Subtract her clothes divide, her legs and square root her!

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her, "Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?"
The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!"
The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He says "Okay, what's the capital of Montana?"
The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"

What do blondes and computers have in common?
You don't appreciate them until they go down on you

A blonde goes into a worldwide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. When the man tells her that it will cost her $300, she exclaims," I don't have any money... but I'll do anything to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!" To that the man asks, "Anything?" And the blonde says, "Yes.... ANYTHING!!" With that the man says, "Follow me!" He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door." She does this and then he says, "Get on your knees. "She does. He then says, "Take down my zipper." She does. Then he says, "Go ahead, take it out." With that, she takes it out and holds it with both hands. And then the man says somewhat impatiently, "Well, go ahead!!" She then brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it very closely to her lips, she says, "HELLO, MOM?"

Question: What two things in the air can make a blonde pregnant?
Answer: Her feet!

Question: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
Answer: The 1984 hide and seek world champion!

Question: How do you put the shine in a blondes eyes?
Answer: Shine a light in her ear!
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